How to build better relationships in the workplace

We all know people who seem to be natural relationship builders at work. They are at ease with people they meet. They are very tuned in to what is happening in the workplace. People respect them and are often inspired by them. So what is their secret? Is it possible to become a better relationship builder if it doesn’t come naturally?

From my experience, you can develop this skill if you want to. I once knew a financial accountant, John, who completely changed his mindset when he became a general manager. He then had to spend most of his time relating to people, not figures, and he responded to the challenge. If you need to change your approach, you can.
Here are 3 steps to help you on your way:

Step 1: So, Whats your Passion?

How well do you know the people you work with? Do you see beyond the job title and the task in hand? Take the time to find out what your colleagues do outside of work. What is their passion? Take a genuine interest in them. The skills they use and enjoy outside of work just might transfer into the workplace. And if you get to know them on a personal level, you can share their joy and know when they are experiencing difficult times. You will be able to connect at a deeper level.

Step 2: Perception is greater than Reality

We communicate mostly through our body language. John used to appear very gruff when he was a financial accountant, and you wouldn’t call in for a chat. Yet this changed along with his job and we discovered a warm, friendly general manager who had a heart after all.
So in the workplace, pay attention to the signals you transmit. You may be standing with your arms folded because it feels comfortable. Others might get the impression that you are angry or annoyed. Facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, posture and dress all speak volumes without you even opening your mouth. Learn to read others as well as yourself.

Step 3: Say that again?

Develop the skill of empathy. It means being able to really understand what the other person is saying. People who are good at this tend to be non-judgemental, confidential, trustworthy and have similar life experiences. Practice active listening to help you become more empathetic. When the other person makes a statement, reflect back the feelings and the content of what they just said. For example: “It sounds like you are really upset” or “So what you are saying is…” You don’t agree, disagree or sympathise. This is a particularly useful skill if someone is in an emotional state, as you allow them to vent, without adding fuel to the fire. You don’t tell them what to do; you explain what you would do in that situation (and only if asked!)

So practice these steps and see how they make a real difference in your relationships, both in the workplace and in your personal life.

Author Bio: Ann Halloran offers practical advice and tips on topics such as time management, presentation skills, performance appraisal, teamwork, motivation, managing change, managing conflict, leadership and communications. To find out more about Ann, visit her online at www.practical-management-skills.com.

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